I was working as a buyer for a big mountaineering and ski store and I had met Hal while out skiing in the Sierras. He had mentioned he was coming out with a book on X-Country skiing and we drank Sake under the stars and swapped stories. A few months later I got a note in the mail telling me about his X-Country skiing book The Cross-Country Ski, Cook, Look and Pleasure Book: And Welcome to the Alice in Snowpeople Land and so remembering the great conversation and enjoyable discourse (though by that time the world class Sake induced epic hangover was only a faint memory) bought a bunch for the store...
A couple of weeks later the books were on the shelf and they were selling surprisingly well which was good but the book in question had a nifty cover with a cut out that showed a woman who was topless (well there was also a chicken but that is a whole different story...). Needless to say, the folks in the big office took the whole affair of breasts on a book IN THEIR STORE as a crime, right up there with playing Barry Manilow or other such unnatural acts.
So, I was told to send them back pronto "or else"... Well, I can take a hint so went back to the store and went to gather up the books to send them back but found out that they had actually sold out. I then remarked to the suits in charge that the book had sold out and I could not as a result send them back... Now, this is where I should mention that in general you will never go too far wrong in under estimating the IQ of people in suits... They had a meeting and in that meeting it was decided that I should personally contact every single buyer of said book and try to get it back... "Or else!"Like I said, I can take a hint but I also should add that I have a very low "or else" threshold...
I actually did try to contact folks who had bought the book except I found that they did not want to return it... They liked it, and half the people I talked to actually wanted to buy more for friends because it was "The best damned book I have ever read about X-Country skiing" was what they were telling me...
I trundled back and reported once again to the suits and they had another series of meetings. They then decided that I should write a formal letter of apology to said buyers of books just in case they had somehow not yet noticed the fact that the topless woman had nipples and to avoid a possible lawsuit or some such... Oh yeah, they did not forget to use the "Or else" line in their discourse.
Being that I can take a hint and Mom did not raise a fool, I realized that I was in fact working for fools, incompetents, and people of somewhat limited vision who said "or else" far too often... I told them so and they pointed out that there were a million folks who could do my job better for cheaper thank you very much... So, I was history and took the unexpected "vacation" and sailed down to Baja Mexico for awhile and never heard the words "Or else" the whole time I was there... I had a LOT of fun!
While I was surfing in Baja I guess the suits did whatever suits do... If it is of any interest.
Of course the reason I mention all of this is not because of topless women or even chickens for that matter, but that sometimes the very best book or source for information does not fit into any cookie cutter view of what people think is right (much less people in suits..) and that The Captain Nemo Cookbook Papers: Everyone's Guide to Zen and the Art of Boating in Hard Times Illustrated, A Nautical Fantasy would be no bad thing on your bookshelf...
